My Secret Heaven

Thoughts of the moment....

"Eunice, it's time to take a break. ", I tell myself today.
Listening to David Tao's songs. Still like him so much after so long.  Talented men like him makes me weak.

I met one like him, but...not the type of man you would want to spend the rest of your life with.

Another Quarrel
I can't sleep again. We had a quarrel over the China trip. I was very unhappy that he has to leave me for China and thus, I gave him the longest face he had ever seen when we were having dinner with his friends at AustWine yesterday.

He was very pissed with me and we argued over certain sensitive issues we almost didn't talk about. It was terrible and I cried uncontrollably again.

I told him a lot about how I felt and the reason I was reacting that way. Anyway, the quarrel ended in a peaceful way. Thank goodness, but still, i did not like the idea of 'CHINA'.

What can I do? He told me it is going to be a 'BUSINESS' trip. I accepted it reluctantly.

I hate having to feel this way over and over again. Maybe I am really being too paranoid but I just can't help it. I just feel so insecure somehow and yes, I feel the past still haunts me once in a while.

I feel so damn FUCKED UP.

My darling is going to China for business trip and I'm feeling emotional. We meet each other almost everyday for the past 2 years and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about him being away from the country even for a few days. Why am I so weak?

This is so unlike me! I should be stronger than this! Argh!!!

DEAR.....I WILL MISS YOU SO SO MUCH THIS TIME.........Can you not go???

Unbelievably Ridiculous

I can't believe writing in my blog after one whole year and to have to start with writing about 'Him'. He added me in FB quite some time ago. I usually don't add strangers so I kinda ignore it until I browsed through some of the friends requests recently and saw a photo with the most familiar face I can't missed.

It was 'Him'. The photo shows him and his current gf blissfully at a bridge which I think should be at Thailand, this current location. But, the funny thing is, he actually put his current location as Singapore. I was half curious as I do not know how to react having him keeping in touch with me again cos he was the one saying it's best we don't contact so that I could move on.

I don't think anything would change what it is now. I've already moved on a long time ago, happily and deeply in love with my current bf. Unless....unless......what the fortune-teller at the Thailand Night Bazaar said to me came true.

I won't go back again. I will marry my current bf and definitely.

Just some thoughts
Recently he contacted me. But things are never the same before. Feelings were buried a long time ago. Plans are new and I have started anew, be it with or without his presence.

I met some of his friends at different places lately. Singapore is really small. Anyway, his friends only brought back memories of us that had long being forgotten. I realise people changes when they are at a different environment for a period of time. I also accept the fact that we cannot be together as the mutual connection has been lost.

I have a new life now that I am really contented with. Indeed it is cruel that he left me. But what I have gained now is more than what I used to have when he's around. I believe everything happens for a reason. It had taught me to be strong and to carry on.

New Year, New Plans
I have been thinking and planning for this year but will not execute any plans just yet.

May start something new.

Started one with a guy a few months ago. We are totally opposite in terms of our lifestyle, plans and character. I think the only thing that I'm still with him now is because he treats me better than any of my previous boyfriend. Except when he drinks. Don't misunderstand. He doesn't hit me. He just went berserk. Hee.

I am still giving myself more time. I am still not ready to tie the knot because I don't want to make a decision that will cause me to regret in the future. On the other hand, I might be waiting for something to happen. We'll see.

My family members, especially my mum doesn't understand my problems and how hard it is to build up and maintain a business. She has this employee mindset and she thinks I work from 8 to 5. I am tired of explaining and her complaining. PLEASE, WILL SOMEONE ASK HER TO STOP NAGGING and be more understanding!

How to obtain good health with excessive drinking. I am talking about drinking beer almost everyday. Whenever my boyfriend is in a bad mood, he brings me out to drink and I can't say no to him because it will look as if I don't care about him. I seldom see him in a good mood seriously and I really don't know how to cope with this bad drinking habit of his. I can't possibly force someone to change and I think he's old enough to think for himself. I signed up for a package at Amore and I do hope it will help to improve my health somehow.

The year 2008 ended okay only. Year 2009 was what I'm looking forward to. Brand new year with brand new plans and a brand new start for me. I don't wish for something fantastic to happen for me but I do hope things will just get better and better each day.


An Unexpected Incident
Last Sunday at about four plus in the morning, I had an unforgettable experience of my life. Two friends and I were involved in a car accident.

We were travelling along the expressway when suddenly, the wheels of the car gave way. The car, travelling at 200km/hr hit the bend of the expressway and skidded towards the road shoulder. I felt my face got hit by something hard and the next thing I knew, I started bleeding profusely. I was terrified. I tried to get out of the car from the inside but I could not. My friend came out of the car from the back seat and opened the door.

The bleeding actually came from my nose as I got hit on the face directly. I was then sent to the clinic instead of the hospital due to certain certain reasons. While waiting for my turn, I could feel my whole body cold and shivering. Luckily, I only had a minor head injury and bruises on my knees and my right hand. My face was hideous. 

That very night, I was supposed to have a dinner with my family. When our car crashed, I was thinking if I can still see my family after that. It was really a close shave. As for the car, it was damaged upon recognition. My body was aching when I woke up this morning and I felt so exhausted after all these. Our friend even drove us back to the place where the accident took place to show us how the car had crashed. The scenes of the incident keep playing repeatedly in my mind even till now. The lesson for my friends and I to learn - NEVER DRINK, DRIVE & SPEED.

Found it!

Remember this post? I was looking high and low for it through my previous posts. Look at the sentences in bold red.

June 24, 2007

My Best Friend's Wedding

Or rather my 'Buddy's'. Was in a mood of mixed touched & sad...I am really happy for him but the wedding was like it was only dream...a dream that came once and that I have to accept it be it I like it or not.

So happy to see most of my sec schmates. All grown-up. I missed my school fun...this wedding kinda give us a reason to gather and remember each other. They all don't change much. I think I changed the most. Sad.

Saw serene, who I missed the most. Finally got a chance to take pics with her. We always tell ppl how gd we are and this and that but we never take pics together before. So damn pathetic.

I drank like nobody's business yesterday. Everybody's busy sabotaging each other. Ha. So fun. After that, we still head down to Dragonfly. Don't know why nowadays I start to chiong so much. Maybe I'm afraid when I were to settle down, I won't have a chance. Everyone's getting married soon. So stress. I'm getting older but don't wanna get married first :p

Saw Alan. Long time customer. Nice guy. Always buy like hundreds of shots. Too bad Ah Leng's not there. He treated me like a princess when I was in my dancing days. Wanted to thank him for the support but didn't have the chance. Just wanna know that he's doing well. Alan bought 2 trays of vodka. Me, Janice & Mel drank all of them. Yucks. I wondered how I could drink that kinda stuff in the one and half years of my life. All the ppl must have thought I were crazy.

Yesterday I just drank and drank and I didn't even knowI  how I could still go to geylang eat and get home. WTF. Then this morning woke up like a Siao Cha Boh. Then when I burped, still taste of apples and vodka I drank yday. Really disgusting. Whenever I drink, I just can't stop. Really a bad habit of mine. The funniest thing is, I told my friends I've quit smoking and I actually took a puff in front of all my friends in Dragonfly....wah kaoz....What am I trying to tell?? *Slap myself*


I have finally found 'him' and now, I can thank him everyday for everything that he has done for me. He dotes on me like none of my other boyfriends. He has proven himself all the time that he is better than my previous boyfriend and told me to forget about him. I'm really blessed to have known him. Without him, I would still be struggling in my past relationship.

My life's a drama

I have not been blogging lately cos I kinda lost the interest to. I have joined an events company a few months ago and was busy. I have finally started my own career, clear of my goals and working hard to reach them.

It has been a tough period for me these few months. My boyfriend (now my ex) left me for Thailand and may never come back due to certain reasons. Though he had no choice, I felt he was really selfish to leave his family , friends and even his very dearest girlfriend. I was really disappointed and very heartbroken. The waiting was in vain and I have to accept the cruel fact that we CANNOT be together again. I kept burying myself in work everyday, telling myself all these will soon be over and forgotten. My heart is very much settled  now but I cannot deny that he will still be someone that I will never forget. I would not say that I have wasted these 7 years but through that, I have learnt many things.

I feel that life is so unfair to me cos I was expecting wedding bells to ring and to start a family of our own. How wonderful it would be....

Just as I was devastated and helpless, an 'angel' saved me. He gives me the attention that I needed at that point of time and dotes on me like nobody else. He is still the same man I knew 2 years ago. Sincere and caring. I can say, so far, I have never met a second guy who can be as good as him. I cannot be too sure yet, but I got this feeling it's going to be him. I shall let fate decide = )

Unforgettable Koh Samed Island
I've decided to dedicate one post specially for this beautiful Island of Koh Samed to summarise my one month's trip in Thailand :)

Note: Some of my friends thought I've spelled the island 'Koh Samed' wrongly. I know there's another island called Koh Samui but the one my boyfriend and I went to is called KOH S-A-M-E-D. Please get your facts right before you try to argue with me. My spelling never fail before ok!!! #@*%!

On a tour coach from Bangkok to Rayong.

20 minutes boat ride from Ban Phe(Rayong) to Koh Samed Island!

The living conditions of Koh Samed

Our Lodging - Tub Tim Guesthouse

Exploring Koh Samed in the day...


Things you can do @ Koh Samed...

1. Swim in the clear waters of the beach,

2. Swing your way into the cool sea breeze


3. Paparazzi-in-action...heh.

Above: Oooh....look at their nice, fit and tanned bodies.....

Below: Wow, how romantic.....

We wanna be like them so erm.....

It has thus, became my favourite picture for my computer wallpaper. Wahahahahah!!!

"Help, Mummy!!!" Poor German Boy. (Taken by my boyrfriend. Looks artistic isn't it?)

4. Get on the ATV, the most adventurous way to go around the whole island!

5. To the sunset view point! (Please do not try to act adventurous and walk all the way up, there's rental for either scooter or ATV. It's not like climbing Bukit Timah hill you know? So, PLAY SMART!)

We were waiting just like the others...mostly Thai people only which I don't understand why. Hello angmohs, the Sun is setting and you guys still wanna sunbath?? DUH! The view of the sunset here must be really beautiful cos I could even see some of the Thai people bringing their camera stands along and positioning their cameras properly, just to wait for the sun to set on top of the cliff we are standing!

View 1

View 2

The closest view we can get...

By the late's DINNERTIME!!!

My first dinner by the beach. AWW...awesome isn't it??!!

I was told by a waitress that this(the above) is a Singapore Band. Can you believe it?? Thailand Bands in Singapore and vice versa. Is that the latest exchange programme??? No wonder their English pronounciation seems a lot better than a few Thai pubs I've went to. Chey...!

We were too hungry so didn't manage to take some pictures of what we were having. If you asked for my recommendation, seafood lor, what else. Thailand is well-known for their fresh-from-the-sea seafood at cheap prices. 

I especially like the barbeque fish(located near the port). The only seasoning? Salt. And it taste fantastic already. Must try!

There are obviously too much to blog about this wonderful island so I will continue with another post on our Boat Trip at Koh Samed! Stay tuned! 



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